Chickenzilla Gingerbread Showdown December 24, 2015

Happy Holidays, my fellow Hen Hoarders! I had the most amazing idea for a holiday post.  It involved an unwanted gingerbread house (licked clean), little tiny plastic people running in fear, and an attack by Chickenzilla! It was going to be epic. EPIC.

So I threw on a jacket, grabbed the camera, ran outside into the early morning cold, and waited for the perfect shot. In my head, I had it pictured like this:

 


Unfortunately, my Chickenzillas were suspicious of the Gingerbread house, and were…well, CHICKEN.  The hens wouldn’t come anywhere near the scary figurines, so I pocketed the poor little guys.  The gingerbread house seemed scary as well… perhaps it was the super-bright technicolor red?  I thought chickens were attracted to the red color?  Why do my hens have to be so weird?

chickenzilla and gingerbread house

What is this suspicious object?

I even threw down scratch to tempt the flock, and waited.  Unfortunately, they were not interested.

It was cold outside, the grass was frosty, and my shoes were soaked. Still, I was DEDICATED to this venture. I WOULD get my holiday Chickenzilla monster movie photo shoot!

A chickenzilla eyes a gingerbread house with suspicion

Closer…closer…don’t look away.

I sat in the clammy, disgusting grass for quite a long time,waiting for the flock to decide it was safe. I tried to stay still and make myself small in hopes a hen would forget about the camera and transform into Chickenzilla. Eventually the Bantam Easter Eggers wandered close enough for a picture, but they didn’t want to peck at the house. They just ate the chicken treats I had scattered as a lure.

chickenzillas studiously ignoring the gingerbread house they're supposed to be stomping!

Perhaps if we flank the scary-box-thing, it cannot hurt us.

In retrospect, I should have smooshed scratch into the frosting to get Chickenzilla to peck at—er DESTROY—the house.  But since WHEN have my hens been picky when it comes to treats? (Since I wanted to photograph them.)

Chickenzilla: not cooperating

If I didn’t want it eaten, they would have been all over it.

Closer…

For a second here, I thought she was going to go for the house. Then I realized she was looking PAST me, to where one of the smarter hens had gone behind me, and was digging into my cup of scratch.

chickenzilla sneaking scratch

Curses, foiled again!

This EPIC Chickenzilla shoot was feeling less and less epic, as they foraged peacefully around the gingerbread house, rather than scratching and tearing it to bits. Should I have tried offering a gingerbread chicken coop? Now I know why mad scientists and other supervillains are always so mad.

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Your minions may come close, but there’s never any follow-through.

So close!  Just one peck! The house, not the grass–you can do it!

chickenzilla chicken butt

Meh

Anyone?  ANYONE? Bueller?

chickenzillas all refusing to eat the gingerbread house

NOPE. WE. DON’T. LIKE. IT.

Did I mention it was cold outside? After a while, my little helper (the lighting director) decided my EPIC Chickenzilla photoshoot was a bust. She was done with the cold and called the whole thing off.

IMG_3348 (2) (1024x678)

Cut! We’re just not gonna get this shot today, Sal.

GO AWAY, CHICKENS!

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We’ll be in contact with your agents.

Oh well! Happy Holidays, everyone, from Kidzilla!

kidzilla

<3

 

2 Comments
Wendy K December 24th, 2015

ROFL – you can always count on Kidzilla

Barbara March 15th, 2017

I think he did a great job filming the story.

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