Dear Chickens (an open letter to my flock) July 19, 2013

Dear Chickens,

We’ve been hanging out a lot lately, but there are a few things I think we need to discuss. Perhaps we can clear up for the youngest chickens with the help of some visual aids. Truthfully, I find the confusion a bit charming, so I won’t name names—after all, you know who you are.

Here we go:

1.) My freckles will never transform into tasty bugs. I am not edible, and neither are my bugs–er, spots. We will both be happier if you get your bugs from the yard.

Dear Chickens, That'd be great. (office meme)

2.) Not everything round and hard will hatch; it’s useless to try to hatch other things, like golf balls. Or air.

Dear chickens, tell me more about how that rock will hatch in 21 days (wonka meme)

3.) Hens like treats: bugs, berries, grubs and so on. They even like pebbles to help them digest. But they are not impressed by roosters who call them over to eat bits of dead leaves and dirt.

Dear chickens, one does not simply call dead leaves a salad (LOTR meme)

4.) You don’t need to take cover from everything in the sky.

Dear chickens, Not sure if hungry hawk, or just butterfly (Fry meme)

Dear chickens, I hope that helps. Most of you have learned these important distinctions already. To those who have, I say bravo! But I also ask that you make sure to pass that information on to your younger compatriots, who haven’t figured it out, yet.

In the meantime…

Keep Calm






Evelyn Qualls July 19th, 2013

Is there a T-shirt available with the motto: Keep Calm and Chicken On? If so, I need to purchase one. You could also advise the new chicks; if it looks like a worm, crawls like a worm, it is probably a worm, EAT IT.

Bobbie Woodruff July 19th, 2013

My chickens have not figured out that if I put it out on a tray, it’s a treat. They act like they are afraid, then one will get brave and grab one ( whatever treat I choose for that day ). And then the chase is on. they steal the treat and that same brave one will get another. Here we go again. I say, if you see one lady eating something from the tray it must be a treat. Stop stealing hers, be brave and get your own.

Nessa July 19th, 2013

That was so funny! Thanks so much!

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